I always create trouble for myself and I dont know why do I do it everytime

Hi All,

Its being a while since I have posted anything its always like this but anyways I am really sad very sad today but where in I should actually be happy. I resigned from my post in my current company which gave me so much but then you guys might be thinking then why did I resign sometimes i wonder myself why did I but then i say myself I was going no where from here as things took a massive change, directions changed and the wind started blowing very fast taking me back to where I had started from again to reach my destination, after so much of hard work, dedication to reach my goal I am finding myself again standing at the same position where I had planned everything 10 months back before joining this company and moving to Mumbai.
My CEO who always believed in me so much and the person whom I respected the most in my organization and who also plays a very important role in my life for inspiring me when it comes to work, I disappointed him by giving him this news, he is really very much disappointed and for sure a bit angry on me as I took this decision. I had no other choice I had lost all my motivation to work here, it was effecting my performance on daily basis, one of the guy from the Dubai office is playing hell lot of politics, I did try to bring it to notice but it seems I have been taken in a negative way. Its better that I stop saying anything about anyone which I havent though till now but I just told few things which were not going right but I am sure I have being taken in a wrong way but this is how the life goes it seems.
Life is really tough when you try to be honest way too much honest but I did learn a very big thing from my CEO today which would surely help me a lot in future thanks to him. I am going to miss my work place, my friends there,life in new company is not going to be easy the work pressure would be very high, with a hell lot of expectations its again a new start completely new team I dont know how its going to be, new test everyday new exams everyday handling the pressure. The most wurst part being that I would be missing my Bro and sis with whom I have had chance to spend so much of time and we had our moments to share, although I never liked Mumbai but still I will miss Mumbai.
I wont be able to visit my parents now on every weekend now, lifes gonna take a new way now and I dont know what to do in next 8 months, I wrote next 3 months are very important for me well it has started, sometimes I wonder why cant I be happy when the situation is good why do I think so much why do I care so much why am I so honest cant I be cruel cant I cheat people i dont why cant I do this, being honest doing things which I like but still nothing makes me happy when I want to be happy.
I just hope that someday things will be in my hand and I am able to move forward from this step, its truly said by the champions, for one particular moment just to get there you sacrifise a lot, go through a lot of pain, see a lot of things, hear a lot of things, miss a lot of things but only to get that one moment in your life the moment which makes you forget all the pain, all the sorrow,all the things you missed out on and gives you the happiness that nothing else could have ever given you.
All I know is that I need to work hard may be a lot more than I did, not to get attached way too much towards work try to relax a bit when the time comes, not to be way too honest be honest when needed. A lot of things to learn after stepping out of this organization. Life is tough.

Never Give up on your Dreams,